By Matija Šerić
In the everyday life of the 21st century, the entertainment industry holds a very important place. People are obsessed with movies, TV shows, songs, and also sports matches. Today, sport is an essential part of show business, even though it originally began as recreation for the masses in ancient times. Today, elite sports like football are big business, while unfortunately, little attention is given to smaller sports. Elite sports, such as football, dominate everywhere: in the news, advertisements, billboards on the streets, and posters in shopping malls. Even people who aren’t interested in football are bombarded with football content, whether they want it or not.
This might not be an enormous problem (it’s worth remembering that there are far more important things in life), but what makes it worse is that much of the content surrounding football is unwatchable, and frankly, an insult to intelligence. It’s enough to mention and briefly comment on just a few well-known football clichés to see the absurdity of it all.
Cliché 1 – “Today, everyone plays football.”
This expression is used by players and coaches of the losing team as an excuse, claiming that “everyone plays football” nowadays. It’s unclear whether they mean everyone in the world or all football players. Of course, not everyone in the world plays football. About 250 million people globally play some form of football, and of that, 38 million are players in clubs. Since the world’s population is currently 8 billion, this means only about 3% of people are involved in football, and less than 1% are under contract. On the other hand, of course, all football players play football. They don’t work as doctors, professors, engineers, delivery drivers, or construction workers. Considering this, the cliché doesn’t hold water. It could be replaced with the statement: “The other team was better.”
Cliché 2 – “We must give our best.”
This is a commonly used phrase before matches, but it’s entirely meaningless. It implies that every player and team always strives for the best performance, which goes without saying. Moreover, it doesn’t offer any strategic value or concrete insight into the game plan. It would be more useful to hear how the team plans to adjust to the opponent or what the key tactical ideas are for victory.
Cliché 3 – “We will/We gave 110 percent.”
Before and after matches, players and coaches want to emphasize the great effort and dedication they will put in or have put into their performance. Often, they mention a number higher than 100 percent, which is mathematically impossible because one whole is 100 percent. Instead of unrealistic percentages, it would make more sense to talk about concrete elements of the game, like off-the-ball runs, pressing the opponent, or defensive discipline.
Cliché 4 – “The ball is round.”
This worn-out phrase is used to emphasize the unpredictability of football. Yes, football is unpredictable, but it would be even more unpredictable if the ball were a cube, a cylinder, or a pyramid. While the phrase sounds wise, it doesn’t provide any explanation. Of course, football is unpredictable, but not because the ball is round, but due to numerous factors like tactical decisions, individual mistakes, referee decisions, and lucky circumstances. Instead of repeating this phrase, it would be better to explain what exactly led to the unexpected outcome – poor defense, an inspired individual performance, or a tactical move by the coach.
Cliché 5 – “At the start, we were doing well on the field.”
Coaches and players use this expression when they want to say that they played well at the beginning of the match and that something happened later that caused them to lose. The expression is flawed because, in reality, they weren’t standing on the field; they were running (if they were standing, they were probably losing at the start). It would be much better to say something like, “At the beginning, our formation worked well, but we later fell apart.”
Funniest & Craziest Football Goal Commentary Compilation
Cliché 6 – “We’ll play for the extra goal.”
This sentence is awkwardly used to emphasize an attacking orientation in the upcoming match. Every match is played for the extra goal because there are no negative goals, and anyone who doesn’t score can only get a 0-0 result at best. It would be better to say: “We’ll set an offensive tactic to score as many goals as possible.”
Cliché 7 – “Penalties are a lottery.”
This cliché is so commonly used that it has been accepted as a fact. However, it’s a pure lie. No, penalties are not a lottery because they rely on technique, psychological preparation, and opponent analysis. A lottery implies complete randomness (e.g., when I play EuroJackpot, I can’t use rational technique), whereas penalties are a skill that can be trained. The best penalty takers (Cristiano Ronaldo, Harry Kane) have a high success rate because they know where and how to strike, while top goalkeepers (Emiliano Martínez, Mike Maignan) study the habits of penalty takers and use strategy when choosing which side to dive to. Instead of mentioning luck, penalties should be recognized as a test of technique, analysis, and emotions.
Cliché 8 – “Every point could be decisive.”
This phrase is used to emphasize the importance of every match in the league, but realistically not every point is crucial. While every point earned plays a role in the final standings, a lot depends on the number of matches in the league. If there are 30+ matches in a season, a mistake in one game can be compensated for with later wins.
Cliché 9 – “I wouldn’t blame the referees.”
This phrase is often uttered by coaches as some sort of talisman, only for them to start blaming the referees right after. The referees shouldn’t have been mentioned at all; they should have criticized their team’s shortcomings in the game, such as the poor performance of the fullbacks.
Cliché 10 – “The crowd was our 12th player.”
Of course, the crowd doesn’t play football and doesn’t have the value of a player. Support from the crowd can give players a boost to try harder on the field, but in the end, it all depends on the 11 players on the pitch. SSC Napoli, Celtic, Galatasaray, and Liverpool have the most passionate fans, but despite this, they were without trophies for many years. We are currently witnessing the same with Manchester United, which has been struggling for over a decade despite their “12th player.”
These clichés are just some of the most prevalent in everyday life. As a child, they may have been interesting to hear, but when I’ve been hearing the same thing for over 20 years, it becomes real torture. That’s why I generally avoid match previews and later studio analyses, protecting my mind from “mental violence.” This is something all smart people should do for their own well-being.
